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Jan. 14th, 2012

The sad truth about young people and cars

When I was driving home from work tonight I felt an overwhelming sense of dread. I'd heard a bunch of sirens go off as I finished up work and thought someone got caught speeding nearby, or that there was an incident in the nearby houses. I thought nothing of it until I heard the manic screech of the fire engine tyres and the incessant combination of sirens and horns. As the fire station is directly across the road from the restaurant, I began to feel uneasy. From here, I hear other sirens join the mix and that was when I knew something was wrong. 

Turning into the intersection, I saw bright lights flashing through the trees. As I neared the lights I saw police cars and a tow truck. There'd been a minor accident involving three cars. No ambulances or fire trucks; not life threatening. And yet, nothing could dissuade me from that nagging dread from before. I turned into the the M3 and not even 1km down the very same road there were more flashing lights. But this time, it was a symphony of lights from all types of emergency vehicles.

Before me stood no less than twenty police cars, two fire trucks and an ambulance. Absolutely nothing, not the colourful lights, or the frenzy of activity could ever prepare me, or warn me, of the catastrophic scene that lay nestled within the cluster of vehicles. In the middle lay debris, if it could even be called that. There was nothing more than a burnt out shell of a small hatch-back, the tyres completely melted away, surrounded by a black patch of incinerated asphalt. The police had directed the fortunately very small flow of traffic into one lane. A lane that bypassed that accident, but giving anyone who drove through an unadulterated view of truly how destructive young people can be when placed inside a car. My breath caught in my throat and I offered a silent prayer even though I felt sick to my stomach. I watched at those who were involved in the accident, but luckily not hurt, came to grips with what they'd narrowly avoided. I didn't fathom the entirety of the situation until I drove directly next to the burnt out wreck. I felt the sickening crunch of broken glass which had blown out from the car's windows. I couldn't keep it in. With a chocked sob I willed myself to look away, praying that no one had lost a life, but knowing deep down I was only lying to myself. The further I pulled away from that horrific scene, the more tears escaped my eyes. I'd never seen such carnage and it rattled me something fierce, something I'd never felt before. 

When I was about half-way home, the overwhelming sadness and shock had worn somewhat, and had been replaced by anger. Anger at the drivers of all vehicles; anger at the damage I saw; anger at the thought of how many families had been ripped apart so suddenly, maybe without knowing. The people I saw huddled at the side of the road were no more than teenagers, most likely a bunch of kids looking for their next kick of adrenaline. I felt old and weary looking at them despite only being a few years older. I couldn't believe how this could have happened. How young people risk life and limb in a futile attempt to be cool, or to feel something that excites them. I thought to myself, "how many kids need to die needlessly, just for the simple message to drive responsibly to get into their heads?"

Even now as I type this I think, how can they be so careless with the most precious thing in the world; their lives? I feel a confusing mix of anger, sadness, grief, and disbelief. I feel these things not knowing how or why I should be feeling them, because really, who would do that to themselves? 

Now, more than ever, do I understand the meaning of a wasted life. I believe what I saw could have easily been prevented. That I'd rather be uncool than in a body bag. That my life above all is most precious. But I wish these kids could see it the same way. 

Oct. 28th, 2010

Writer's Block: Sticks and stones

What is the worst insult you've ever received from someone? Were you able to forgive them?

The worst insult I've had from a stranger was being called a "filthy Commie" because I'm Chinese. It shocked me and hurt to know that people can and will needlessly attack someone of a different culture or background and think that they deserve it. I didn't do anything to this man, but he verbally abuses for me for something that is beyond my control. And to think that I live in a democratic country in the 21st century. I've partially forgiven him, partly because I'll never see him again, and partly because he was an ignorant, old fool.

I think the worst thing I've ever been called by a "friend" was either a "bad friend" or a "traitor", just because I unconsciously decided to grow up and finally act my age. I am an adult and so I shall choose to act like one. It wouldn't hurt so much if I weren't so close to them. But now I've decided to rid myself of any and all toxic relationships, no matter how hard it may be, otherwise I'd only get hurt if I don't. I don't know if I can ever forgive them for turning on me without so much of a proper reason, but I think somewhere down the track I will be able to because I'll be living life as a happy adult, whereas they will be stuck in a 30yr old's body with the mentality of a 13yr old school girl. Either way, I know I'll be much happier.

Oct. 24th, 2010

Remembering a friend

One year ago today, the 23rd of October, a dear friend joined the angels in Heaven. The year has passed all too quickly and once again I'm left speachless when I realise she has been gone a whole year. It seemed like yesterday that I held her in my arms as we almost fell to the ground in laughter. It seems like a second ago since I last saw her smile. But bad things happen, and not always to the bad. Bad things do happen to good people and it makes me wonder why it has to be. Why do people get sick and never recover? Why is it that I only get coughs and colds?

My friend was beautiful, inside and out. Her smile lit up a room before she even entered it. Her laugh was contagious and her hugs were warm. I don't know what I miss the most. But I miss her, no doubt about it, so much that I fear losing anyone else. I am scared that I cannot hold onto friendships because of some silly differences. I am scared that I will not become the person she has helped me to be.

Sometimes, things don't always go to plan and things just seem dreary. Life may feel overwhelming but you can never forget who and what is important to you because as soon as you do, you begin to forget yourself. Who you are and who you might become.

I thank God with all my heart that I was able to meet and befriend such a beautiful soul. I have known happiness, sadness, anger and grief, but nothing compares to knowing and remembering a true friend.



Always in my heart and mind, Georgia my friend, and remembering you for years to come.


Jul. 15th, 2010

Writer's Block: No place like home

What are five things you love about where you live and five things that you hate? How does it compare to previous places you've lived?

Five things I love about Chatswood, Sydney, Australia 

1. All shops and facilities are within walking and or public transport distance and easy accessability to other suburbs
2. It's a multicultural area so it's a great place to live and make friends
3. People can be a little snobbish (as I'm living in Sydney's North Shore making it an affluent area) but generally people are well grounded and very friendly and helpful
4. It's a perfect balance of comfy suburbia and fast-paced metropolitan lifestyle but still quite safe
5. There's pretty much everything you need in terms of health and transport facilities, entertainment and food; it's a small city pretty much


Five things I hate

1. It's too small; with a radius of only a few kilometers from the CBD, it's easy to get bored with seeing the same things in such a small place all the time
2. The council and a lot of the older residents want the area to be considered one of Sydney's top affluent suburbs which lead to ridiculously high council rates
3. Parking fines
4. Overdevelopment of residential areas. There used to be only a few small unit complexes, now there are apartment blocks the size of city skyscrapers
5. It's too far away from a lot of my friends in the Western Suburbs which means I don't often get to see them


Comparison?

I've lived in the same unit, in the same street for my entire 20 years of existence. I have nothing to compare it to other than my relatives and friends' houses. But it's quite a good area to live in terms of services and infrastructure.

Mar. 18th, 2009

祖母。。。


祖母。。。






我是非常哀伤的。。。




是因为我太爱你。。

 


只是我怕眼泪撑不住。。。



 
我不想太多。。。





“不用担心的太多,我會一直好好過。 你已經遠遠離開我也會慢慢走開。。。”
“難過是因為悶了很久。 是因為想了太多。 是心理起了作用。。。”
 
- 周杰伦:“黑色幽默”“安静”

 


CROSSPOSTED FROM UNI LJ :vanessa_yee 

Nov. 9th, 2008

Words aren't needed




taken from my uni LJ: vanessa_yee 



You talk, I talk, but no words come out
We're speaking, to each other as if no one can hear us.
But it's true, they can't
They wont, they never will.
What we speak is not of words, but of actions, touch, a simple glance.

They will never know.

A light touch, your hand over mine,
Your silent words showing me,
That your heart is mine, and mine is yours.
Only for us, and no one else
Ours forever and always.

They think I'm crazy.

We speak all the time,
Our conversations long and drawn out,
An outpouring of emotion and understanding,
But they think we're crazy.
"You have no words, you have no meaning"
Our meaning is not your meaning.

Only for us.
You glance at me and then I understand.
All these unspoken words that keep me company
No one else hears them because there are no words.
Because it's just me, or at least they think.
They think I'm lonely because there's no one here

They only see me.
They don't hear the words you say,
because they know you've gone away.
To a place far up beyond the skies
Leaving me behind, alone.

But I'm not.


You're always here, talking to me
No words are needed because I can feel it
They wont understand, and never will,
This is, was, and always will be

Ours...


No words are needed to cross that line,
Of life and death, reality and dreams.
I know it all, I own them all.
You're just a memory, for those who're blind,
But not to me, you're everything I see, and everything they can't.

Oct. 22nd, 2008

More uni extracts



Taken from my uni LJ: 

vanessa_yee 

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I know you don't see me...










I know you don't see me Collapse )

Sep. 11th, 2008

I want...

 
Shiny... Collapse )</div>

Sep. 2nd, 2008

我想要愛您 ...

Please let me... Collapse )</div>

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